Bend, Stretch, and Kick

All at the same time. Nice technique, chicken little.

(Pic via Getty Images)

French Toast

The French are a people who are known for their, how to put this delicately, their spectacular defeats. From the battle of Poitiers to Waterloo, world history is littered with examples of the French losing major battles. So perhaps it should not come as a surprise that there has been massive Frenchie carnage at the Paris Masters. Today alone, Chardy (l. to Murray), Mannarino (l. to Federer), Mahut, (l. to Ferrer), Simon (l. to Monaco), and Monfils (l. to Lopez) all ended their seasons by barely putting up a fight. Not one measly set won among them.

With Llodra having already lost yesterday, only Tsonga and Gasquet are left to fight on. And we all know how you can always rely on those two to win when it matters.

But who are we to judge the French for just carrying on an ancient and proud tradition? They’re just stubbornly old school like that.

On the flip side, other countries have an old, proud tradition of winning….

Hahahahaha, I keed, I keed. Two wins in a row! It’s like a streak or something

All right, all right, not exactly a streak… Ugh, why must you ruin everything!

(Pics via Getty Images)

Love Me Some Davis Cup Draw Pics

Davis Cup is great for many reasons: bringing the team dynamic to an individual sport, the honor of playing for your country, and, of course, thunderstix. But the best thing about DC by far is the pictures from the many draw ceremonies. All our favorite players together in matching outfits smiling and giggling? Epic win!

Smiling, shaking hands, posing adorably?! I mean…come on!

Of course, Vik isn’t quite down with the smiling and giggling. Does anyone else do bitch face better?

Bahahahahhahaha (he’s short)

*meow* indeed, Delpo

(Pics via Getty Images)

Simon Outlasts Delpo, Wins a New Fan

Simon’s match against del Potro yesterday was the greatest match that I have ever had the pleasure to see live. I wish that I could adequately describe the experience to you guys. I can’t really, but I’ll give it a try.

The crowd was mostly pro-Delpo for most of the match. Partly because they were Argentine fans, and partly because no one there wanted that match to end. I certainly was hoping and praying that it would go to 5 sets.

But Gilles was just too good to let the match go that long. I have always liked Simon’s game, but I don’t think I ever appreciated how well-rounded it is. Of course it was no surprise how solid he was at the baseline, but I never knew how good he was at net. Now that I know he’s so good up there, I have to wonder why doesn’t he volley more.

Delpo ran out of stream midway through the 3rd set. He tried to pump up the crowd to energize himself. It seemed for a brief moment he might just will his way to a 5th set. And the volley he hit on one knee (which he topped off with the most expressive fistpump I have ever seen from the same position) was most definitely the best shot of the match.

But the insane amounts of errors Delpo sprayed left, right, and right into the net sealed his fate. Simon faces will play Isner in the next round and, as my Dad incessantly pointed out to me, if Simon plays at the same level, John is going to have his work cut out for him.

Speaking of my Dad, I think this may have been the match that has turned my Dad into a tennis fan. He’s already asked me when the Simon match is on tomorrow, and he got in trouble with my Mom (who hates all sports) for trying to watch the tennis after he got back home today. So while I really enjoyed the tennis, this match will always be special to me for making my Dad a fan too.

Check out more pictures I took of the match on the facebook page.

(Pics via Racquet Required)

 

Simon Hi-Fives His Baby (Video)

How did Gilles Simon celebrate winning the title at Hamburg? Giving his infant son a hi-five. Could you die from the cuteness, or COULD YOU DIE?!

(Video via @linzsports)

Players Awqwardly Reading Cue Cards (video)

You would think someone would move the cue cards so that their eyeline would be in line with the camera. You would think wrong… At least it’s for charity

#Winner

It was not all heartbreak and emo doom and gloom at the Davis Cup ties yesterday. Au contraire, there was so much #winning going down that it would bring a tear of joy to Charlie Sheen’s eye.
Chardy defeated Melzer in STRAIGHT SETS
Cilic won a TENNIS MATCH against someone other than John
Verdasco played REAL TENNIS and WON
Rafa showed a small child no mercy.
Simon’s dominant win could be titled “Suck my left nut, Forget”
Pico was Pico in all his Pico glory
Despite being RETIRED Pim Pim won a match
Nalby fought through a hernia (A FREAKING HERNIA). Mr. Davis Cup, indeed. BAAHH, bitches!
And Sod won too. Whatever.
(Pics via Reuters, AP, & Getty)

Davis Cup Pic Spam: Spain, France, Austria, GB, Croatia & Germany

“Hey gurrrl!!! Call me!”
Nice to see Rafa taking bendy tips from Nole. That boy is always learning…
There can never be enough pictures of Ferru biting things….ever
Team Great Britain looking formal….and British
Is Cilic making “come hither” looks at the camera?
Come on, he totally is!
France may not beat Austria, but they will look damn good regardless
If only smiles won tennis matches, huh Gilles?
(Pics via Getty Images)

You Done Good, Little Daddy

In another thrilling late night 5-setter in Melbourne, Fed defeated Simon 6-2, 6-3, 4-6, 4-6, 6-3. Even though Simon could not pull out the upset, he definitely made a major statement: he’s healthy, he’s back, and you best bring it when he’s on the other side of the net. Allez, Little Daddy.

Good News on Day 1 of the AO

It wasn’t all upsets and bad news on the opening day of the Australian Open. Fed, Rod, and Nole all rolled in their matches with straight set wins.
Fer actually won a match that he was supposed to win, defeating Schuettler 6-1, 6-3, 6-2.?
Janko also won in straight sets over Zverev 6-3, 6-1, 6-4
Pico won over Greul 7-6, 7-6, 6-2?
Simon defeated Lu 6-7, 6-2,6-4, 6-2?. But that kit has got to go. Is he yachting or playing tennis?
Kohlschreiber and Fish came from 2 sets down to pull it out in 5. This was especially impressive for Mardy since he was reportedly sick in bed all week. Just hope that wasn’t a pyrrhic victory and has nothing left in the tank for his next match.

Nishikori was also impressive, taking out Eyebrows 6-1, 6-4, 6-7, 6-4. Thinking (hoping?) he’s due for a major break out from the pack this year. The BG effect can only be a win

And Mahut continues to warm out hearts (cause real men plays qualies), winning in 3 over Dabul. Normally, I would be totally excited about this, and don’t get me wrong, I am. But now he has to play Troicki.

It’s going to be a battle of Bambi vs. Thumper. Just hope it isn’t too much of a bloodbath.
(Ajde, Vik)?
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